Tuesday, November 3, 2009

sardar jokes


IMG0457AWriter Biswos Adhikari

Address:-smile_foru2003@yahoo.com

phone no:-9845333323

One Day a monkey kicked a sarder on his back and run away.Sarder run to catch him and find a zebra in the field.Sarder kicked the zebra on his back and said " Salla Trackshut pahenke dhoka de raha tha..."

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A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

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SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

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This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji
replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata"

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There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the
sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead
of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of
them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur
aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi
ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;

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One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar

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Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up.

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Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

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Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

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A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG-""EY MERE VATAN KE LOGON
JARA AAINKH MEIN BHAR LO PANI,
JO SHAHEED HUYE HAIN UNKEE,
TUSSI GHAR LE AAO "JANANI" "

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Sardar ji;
Bhagwan mujhe dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mujhe barbad kar de,mere piche BHoot laga de,
Bhabwan;abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye.

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A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

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Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara ? Sardar " yaar Meri Photo Bas main Gir Gayi To Maine Madam Se Kaha Zara Sadi Upar Karo Photo Lena Hai".

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Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!!

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Ek american ek sardar se kaha hamare yahan saadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai isper sardar bola kamal hai hamare yahan to sirf female se hoti hai

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

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After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

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Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

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Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

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Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

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Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

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Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche

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A sardarji Doctor falls in Love
A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

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Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know -
it means....
S - Sardaron ke
M - Mazak udane ki
S - Service

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Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory....

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A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was
asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will
investigate

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Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir
problem hogi.

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Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was
wondering -
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane
kyon diya ?

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in an interview,
interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
SARDAR: dhuurrrrrrrrrr..
Interviewr shouts: stop it !
SARDAR: dhurr dhup dup dup dup..

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Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney.

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Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu? Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

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sardar. to his friend:yaar bari mushkil main hoon mairi Bivi mujh say aik kiss ka RS.100 laiti hay
friend.Acha,yaar to baara lucky hay dosron sey woh 500aiti hai

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What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

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Premika-Tum to bas apne kaam me lage rehte ho..Meri to koi prwah hi nhi he tumhe!Srdar Premi-Oye, Pyar krne wale kisi ki prwah Nahi karte
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Sardar apni BIBI k sath TAXI me baitha.Driver ne aaina set kiya. Ye dekhte hi SARDAR gusse me bolaMeri BIBI ko DEKHTA hai, piche BAITH. Taxi me CHALAUNGA

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2sardars go for a drive. . . . OYE zara khidki ke bahar dekhi indicators working or not. . . sardar puts his head out & says yes..No..Yes..No..Yes..No..

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Sardar apni GirlFriend ko i love u kehta aur gir jata.I love u kehta aur fir gir jata. Girl: ye Kya kar rahe ho Sardar: i m falling in love.

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ek sardar ne Ek Cow ke kiss kar le. oor sath main he Toooba karny lagy k Guru nanak g Mujy maaf kar dain mairy zehan main shaitan(devil) aa giya tha, Ussy waqt Shaitan Hazir ho giya oor Sardar se kehny laga, Oyee Ullu K Pathy yeh jo harkat tum ne ke yeh yeh harkat to mairy zehan main b nahe the

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A sardar saw a board on which it was written " padhne wala stupid".
Sardar got irritated and wrote "likhan wala stupid"

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Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:)

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sardar g nay hotel may aik aissie larki ki demand ki jissay AIDS ho
wajah poochi tu sardar g nay kaha"mere say meri biwi ko aids homeri biwi say mere bhai ko,bhai say bhabi ko,bhabi say,papa ko,papa say mama ko,mama say parosee ko, tab usay pata chalay ga k sardar ki maan saay sex karnay ka kiya injaam hota hai

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SARDARNI SAY:- aji sunday o..Aj 3 dako aaye see.. unhaan nay mere izat lut laee jay.
SARDAR SAY:- toon onhaan noo rokya naeen....?
SARDARNI REPLIES:- bohot rokya see... per o rukay e naeen.... kehen lagay HUN SANO JAAN DAY...ASSI THAK GAEE AAN

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do sardar ja rahah hote hain,k samne se eik pregnant auorat aa rahih hoti hai,sardar dousre sardar se khata hain kiyaa is ko bhi laal chuti ne kaata hain
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A sardar married to a short girl.people asked to sardar why you married such a short girl. He replied our guru gee says maseebat jitni choti ho utna he acha hota hay.

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WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY. BECOZ HE SAW A GIRL GOING AROUND WITH A BADGE ON HER CHEST WHICH SAID"PRESS" AND SARDAR JEE PRESSED IT.

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ek sardar shadi se phley apni bewi ko gana sunata hai mera mehbob mary sanam or sahdi key bad mai kery pasey jawona mai manji kethy dawna

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ek sradar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha... saari zindagi sochta raha aur sochtay sochtay hi mar gaya k meri behan k 3 bhai hain tau mere 2 kyoun????
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a sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question.
interviewer : Who Killed Gandhi Gee?
Sardar : Thanks for giving me the job i will investigate.
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In aptitude test
River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.
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Sardar Get Engaged with girl,
soon he came 2 know she had no affair b4,
he brokn the relation every 1 asked the reason!He said
"JO KISI OR KI NA HO SAKI WOH MERI KIA HOGI"

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Sardar: Prito "Ek wari I LOVE YOU keh day"
Prito: "Nahi Sharam Andi Ey"
Sardar: "Keh Day NA"
Prito: "Nahi Na"
Sardar: "Dhake To Fir Meri Bahen Nahi"
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a sardar bunked his office and went home and found his wife on bed with his boss.he run back and told his
coleagues :YAAR AJ TU MIEN BASS PAKAR GIA TA
.

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Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking............
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2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

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Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.
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How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke Tuesday
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Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected.....................
After much thought he writes: Yes.............................
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A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing
Sardar: B.Com final year"
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A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"
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teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
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Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?

aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......
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SARDARNE 2 SARDR SARDAR G MAIN NE AJ PANE KO BEWAKOOF BANAYA SARDAR.WO KAISAY SARDARNE.
MAIN NE PANE GARAM KYA PER THANDAY SE NAHA LYA HA HA HA BABLOO.
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interviewee;wat z ur date of birth?sardar;nov 28.interviewer;which year?sardar;abey ullu everyyear.
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sardarji (raste se jate samay friend se ek chig dekhake):
are yar main ese kahi dekha hain
second sardarji:han main bhi ese kahi dekha hain
first sardarji(use sungh kar ):are yar yad aaraha hain.
second sardarji:ha muse bhi yad aa raha hain.
first saradarji:test leta hain aur kahata hain are yar yah
to gobar hain acha huaa main es per pair nahi diya.
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a grl in a wedding ceremony want 2 go 2 da toilet. she asked a sardar, sardarji su su kernay ki jaga dikhao.
sardar replied unaughty girl pehlay tum dikhao.
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TRAIN
Train station par ruki. Ek aadmi khidki ke paas baethe sardar se- Kaun sa station hai?Sardar bahar dekh kr kuch der soch kar "lag to Railway Station raha hai".

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