* Two Lovers Plan to die
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
* Ik raat bahu ne (In Urdu)
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
* A sardarji Doctor falls in Love
A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
* Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum (In URDU)
Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...
* Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you
Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.
* Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.
* Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever
* Laloo bada chalak hai (in URDU)
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* Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
*AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other
* 2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy
2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!
* Once a chunti saw a dali (IN URDU)
Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy
* Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa afte
Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing.
*Girls are like roads
Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are.
*Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES(In Urdu)
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI.
* Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny
Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.
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* Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave
Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.
*My wife ran away with my best friend.
My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.
*Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,everythings f~cked
*What do you call a wife who is sexy,
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
*Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
* Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend
Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.
*A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
'' Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?''
So a man takes off his clothes n say,''Iron these!''
* A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools
lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist
she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed
* Mother to Teenage Daughter
Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?".
* what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S
what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............
* Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.!!
*Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...(In Hindi)
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!!
* After a quarrel, a husband said
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice.
*Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?(In Hindi)
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
*Man:what is million years to u?
Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second....
* sardar ji to his friend:
sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.
*Husband to a newly wed Wife
Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there.
*A sardar was running with his pregnent wife
A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.
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*behind every SUCCESSFUL woman
behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
* Acute Angina
A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina.
*A boy and gal of 5th class asked(In Urdu)
A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi".
*Musharraf said to his mother.(In Urdu)
Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro.
*75yrz old man got married with a girl o
75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.
*Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expec
*A husband was stung by
A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.
*Maid cleaning bedroom found
Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops off.
*Question
who is stronger man or woman?
Anser?
A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones.
*Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ques : Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking hands before Fight!!
(In Urdu)
Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo."By chumma khan
(In Urdu)
chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki!
*Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved
*Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". . The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you"and puts the phone down
*At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender ,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Lalooreplies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED
*After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! "Laloo, third from left!"
*Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we willturn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised."You Japanese are very inefficient" he stated. "Give me three days and Iwill turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
*A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation????
*Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes.
*A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
*in chemistry class teacher asked a girl:what r Nitrates?Girl answered shyly:nights rates r high then day ..!
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*Q-Why is reading a Playboy/Playgirl magazine like reading National Geographic?
A-U get 2 see many great places u dont get 2 visit
*Judge-y did u attack tat young man?
Old lady- he grabbed me, took my clothes off, threw me on d bed & shouted APRIL FOOL!Dyson
A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony. Girl shouted to her mother[who was inside]"mom, Tom cruise is coming"
Mother:"you come inside"
Few minutes later Girl shouted, "mom, Clinton is coming"
Mother:"Ask your Grandma also to come inside"
(In Urdu)
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH MUJHE BAHUT PATLE DAST AA RAHE HAI
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH BAHUT PATLE
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- SAABH ITNE PATLE KI SMS PADNE VALLA KULLA KAR LE
Man: sir i m married, i had 10 childs, plz tell me my favorite stone, favorite star, & favorite number, Astropamist: Oh. No. ab ap ka guzara SABAZ SITARA sey hi ho ga......
eight man r raping a woman ..the woman is laughing nonstop ..so after the men get bugged n ask her y she laughing ..she replies " mujhe AIDS hai "*******
One is looking very upset by thinking that.......
"HOW HIS SISTER HAS 2 BRITHERS AND HE HAS ONLY ONE"
Two ladies were working in a furniture shop,one for ELLERINES and other one was working for WONDER furniture shop they use to take the same bus at same stop at the same time. So other day they were waiting until late and the lady thats works for WONDER said "I WONDER WHY THIS BUS IS LATE" and the other lady didnt want to be left out she said "I ELLERINES WHATS WRONG?
A womman was bragging to her neighbour about her son, a university student. "Our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have tio go to the dictionary," said a proud mom. "You are lucky, "the neighbour said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"
a kid says to teacher:techer meri ammi ko bacha hojaye ga.
teacher says: yes
kid:meri anty ko bacha ho jayega.
teacher yes.
kid: teacher aap ko bacha ho jaye ga.
teacher yes.
kid: teacher is munni ko bacha ho jaye ga.
teacher no beta ye abhi bohat choti hay.
kid : dekha munni men ne kaha tha na kuch nahi hoga
Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & ofcourse fucKING
question:NISAR kaise paida hua ????
answer:jawani janeman haseen dilruba mil do dil jawan NISAR hogaya
Two snakes meet each other..
First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake:Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip!
Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain adil(not doing love)mehboob
A mother bought her son a $39 Halloween costume to scare his friends "Should I take the price tag off?", the boy asked. "Leave it on," his mother replied. "We'll scare your father too
Son:Papa,Sab log Shadi Karke Pareshan hain,To Shadi Kyo Karte Hain.?Papa:Beta,Akal Badaam Khane se nahi,Thokar Khake Ati He
A young man asked a priest.........
Father!Is it a sin to sleep with a girl?....
Priest!N my child....But problem is that u guys never SLEEP....
a man gave his testes to boy to play.they threw moni on him he pressurisd them and man dead
i want to fuck u from day to late night so that u get pragnant.and i will kill ur child so that i got lot of money from insurance policy of ur child
1986 ke girl; Mama jeans pehen lon
Mom;Na baiti log kiya kahen gay.
2006 ke girl;Mama mini skirt pehen lon
Mom; pehen baiti kuch to pehen............
girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life, scan ur poket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind, download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u for ever
How Do U Tell To UR Girlfriend If U Want 2 go 2 Toilet During Dinner? Darling,I've 2 Shake Hands with a Close friend of MIne Whom I'm Going 2 introduce 2 u Later.
Sadham meets kajol n asks her " how is ur life ?" , kajol says " Kabie khushi kabie gham!" n kajol asks Sadham " how about u? " n he says " kabie BUSH kabie BOMB"!!!!!!!
teacher teaching algebra to student
A=B=C
it means A=C
sir asked 2 giv exampl 4 it
student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter,it means i luv ur daughter
NEWTONS LAW OF LOVE:- LOVE CAN NEITHER B CREATED NOR DESTROYD BUT IT CAN ONLY B CHNGD FRM ONE GRL TO ANTHR WID D LOSS OF MONEY
A MAN PUT A LAMP ON HIS WIFE HEAD AND SAID TO HER IF YOU LIED THESE LAMP WILL TURN ON DO YOU UNDERSTAND ????? SHE SAID YES ....
THE LAMP TURNED ON !!!!
What a bad day 4 elisa! her mom & dad went out 2 a church so she decided 2 invite her boyfriend Dipopo 2 come with his friend Khali bcoz she's left alone @ home.The 2 arrived in time, her parents came back unexpectedly 4rom Church @ she told Dipopo 2 hide under the bed & khali ot top of the wadrop@ her bedroom, both of them went 2 her bedroom. Her dad asked how was her day? & she said,"mmmmm,,,, fine" & her Mom said,"The 1 who is on top knows everythin(refering 2 God with a finger)" emmidiatly Khali had that, he jumped down from the wadrop & said, the 1 who knows everything is the 1 under the bed(Dipopo)..........
Ek aadmi Ki Biwi Gum Ho gaiee. Who Ramji ke Mandir gaya. Ramji ne kaha, Wats baaju mein Viraajmaan Hanuman se Prarthana kar, meri bhi unho ne dhoondhi thi
One night, Mooch was making love for the first time after the wedding. She saw it all on TV but the husband was like, "Man, you cry lke the virgin but you know how to give it all to me, in all angles to fuck it"
Why are Egyptian's Children always confused??
Coz after death, their DADDY becomes the MUMMY.
Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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what is the diffrent between
Himami & Sunami?
Himami is face wash,
Sunami is total wash.
A job in Railways.
Salary 15000/-,
job profile:-When the
headlight of the Engine
is not working you
have to run infront of
the train with a torch,
So hurry up...
wish u all the best
What if goctors
started directing
movies?
Here are eg:
1.stethoscopukal
katha parayunnu.
2.Oru ECG diary
kuruppu..
3.Meerayude CT yum
muthuvinte X-Rayum
4.Vasanthiyum aidsum
pinne nhanum
5.Ayal BP
edukkugayanu.
6.MBBS penninu MD
payyan
7.Sister marude
shradhayku.
8.Neru ariyan MRI
9.Syringe Madhavan.
10.BDS MOOSA
11.Compounder raman.
12.Meenathil surgery.
13.Parakum gulika.
14.Sister vannu
vilichappol.(A)
15.The
mortuary.(horror)
TEACHER :Name the animal which live in water & land
STUDENT :Simple 'Frog'
TEACHER :Now name such 4 animal
STUDENT :Simple "Frog's mother,Frog's father,Frog's sister".:
BREAKING NEWS..~Bazar-e-Hussun MeinAag lag gayee, Raat gaye Fire Brigade Ka
ammlay ne Aag per qabooo pa liya,Magar ammlay per qabooo abhi tak nahi paya ja
Naukarani: malkan ap udaas kyun hai
Malkan: tumhare sahab office ki kisi larki se payyar karte hai
Naukarani: nahiiiiin, sahab mujhe dokha nahi de sakte.
Man ask God " God Y U make women so BEAUTIFUL? God so that u can LUV her.
Men but Y u make her so STUPID? God says so that she can LUV U......
A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes.
A convicted rapist was sentenced to a death penalty.he was 2 choose between being hanged or being injected with a seringe with HIV/AIDS blood.he choose to be injected with AIDS, after they have finished with him he never stoped laughing and they asked why r u laughing he just wispered and say i have put on a condom
Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot.
What is the difference between secretary & private secretary? Ans: secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR.
Difference b/w panties of 1970 & 2000 :- In the 70's you had to pull down panties to see the buttocks,In 2000, you have to seperate the buttocks to see the panties.
Mother to her tennage daughter:
I think it's time that we should talk abt sex..
Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?..
Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.
Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient(F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her
left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.
Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.(
A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. After a while they broke up and he wanted it back. The girl threw a pad at him and said. i'll pay u back in monthly instalments.
class me teacher lacture de raha tha, bachon ne dekha us ki zip khuli hui hai, bachay hansne lagay,
Teacher: kyun hans rahe ho, ab agar hansay ko bahir nikaal ke khara ker dunga.
A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.
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Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital tp deliver...
The wife however gave birth to a black baby. The Chinese man who was shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG...
A story with moral
My girlfriend called me to her house one day. I went there & found her sister alone in the house. She was unbelievably sexythan my GF. She whispered in my ear, "I have feelings for you, make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car. Amazingly I found my GF standing there & she hugged me & said, "U have won my trust."
Moral:
Its always better to keep the CuNDuMS in the car & not in the wallet!!R.P.
Last nite i had a dream abt U...
I saw tht v both were gettig married on the same day...
Ur wife was beautiful but mine is not...
I asked GOD:
Why it is so???
GOD replied:
"BALANCE OF NATURE"...!!!
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.
Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna
People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work.make less mistakes,
People who do no work.make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes.get promoted.
. U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!
. Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal
A little girl to her mother: "Mom! i have come to know the boy next door have a pennes like a peanut"
Mom: " Do you mean its little"
girl: " No Mom! Its salty."
A man forgot to zip up.So a lady tells him:U LEFT yr GARAGE open.Man asks:DID U C MY BLACK MERC parked INSIDE?No,she said JUST A MINI COOPER with a FLAT TIRE
aik din aik larke na apne mummy ko dekha aur kehne laga dekho mummu aik hath chor kar cycle chala raha hooon thodi daar ke bad wo dubara wahan se guzra aur kehna laga dekho mummy main do hath choor kar cycle chala raha hoon thode daar ke baad wo dobara wahan se guzra aur kehne laga dekho mummy main do dantoon ke baghar cycle chala raha hoon
wife - suniye kya aap kitchen se garam masala la kar aayenge
husband - magar yahan to nahin hai
wife-- mujha pata tha tumha nahin mila ge is liya main pehla se la aaye baghwan !!!!!!!!
costomer- whose eggs is this
shopkeeper - its mine
costomer - ok so give me one dozen of chicken s eggs
BREAKING NEWS:Nawab Akbar Bugtii Alive.
He escaped from the back door of his cave
On his Honda CD 70
& was Shouting,
"MAIN TAY HONDA ee LAYSAAN"!
Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.
Sardar:Thank God I was born after that .
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .
The world thineest book has only one word written in it"EVERYTHING" and the bok is tittled by "WHAT WOMAN WANT "
GIRLS 1970: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma taira intzar hai
GIRLS 2006: Jia beqraar hai aai bahar hai, aa ja moray baalma WERNA DOSRA TIYAR HAI....
eik aadmi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi say yeh sisak sisak k marna theak hai ya eik dum.(BIWI)eik dum.(AaDMI)to apni dusri tang b mujh per rakh do.
The short man was chased by 2 policeman coz he usually steal "FRENCH POLONY", he ran to his home and hide into a babywalker.They knew that he he was there so checked the place until they give up.On teir way to the door they saw this baby in a babywaker the went to him and say"he is so cute, if we come back we will bring sweets,cakes and cold drink" he said with an adult voice "Dont forget to bring my favourite frnch polony".....
Years ago i came in2 dis world naked & screaming
My goodness, now things have changed when im naked somebody else does the screaming.bigboy 0761725942
Home : A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.
LOVE : Loss Of Valuable Energy
WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever Umer 03004844948
Common Dialoug om exams & 1st wedding night-
"Kaisa Hua"??
"Acha Hua, thoda bada tha, thoda chooth gaya, aata tha per thik se hua nahi!!mohan amritsar
Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi.
Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti.
Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Russians dugg 100
meters and found
copper cable and said
that they had
telephones 500 years ago
Americans dugg 200
meters and found
optical fibre and said
they had internet
facility 1000 years ago.
indians dugg 1000
meters and didnt find
anything and said that
we had wireless
technology 2000 years ago sayalisalih +919895137022
Aap main Aur Malaika sherawat main kiya fark hey?
color? no. Pesa? no. daish? no. phir kiya hey. janab woh utne kapre ka kastoom bana leti he jitna aap naak saf karne k liye istamal karte ho. ABBAS MUX
When i Die , bury me deep
Ten feet down fast as leep
Place my Maths book on my head
Tell my teacher that i am dead
place my geography book on my chest
Tell my teacher how i am at rest
Place my physics in my right hand
Tell my teacher nothing i understand
place my english book on my left
Tell my teacher i tried my best
Also tell my teachers not to cry
For they are those who made me die.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
5
bhagwaan sabse zyada khush kab hota hay
us waqt jab kisi ladki ki izzat lutt
rahi ho or woh chilla rahi hoo
bhagwan ke liye mujhe chordo hanif
fyuefuejjfhjshuidyiejkcxjehkefhdk
samajh aaya nahi na
mujhe bhi samajh nahi aayanikhil
Bob calls in to his job:
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house." Osman +923014876609
Indian mathematicians meeting held at New Delhi yesterday - they
have decided to change the name of zero. The new name will be GANGULY.NOMA--03455916346
little kid asks: mommy don't u have the colgate of aquafresh. mocharlzero
a young boy was arrested for murder, his father went to visit him in prison.he told him that their is densely grass around the house and u c that i am old enough, 2 dig those grass. u were the 1 who must dig those grass.boy replied pls don`t ever dig those grass bcoz i hide many guns there. his dad tell the police about it, the police went there and dig all over but they finds nothing. dad went back to his son he said police have dug those grass but they did`nt anything. boy replied i was trying to assist u. arofhizo
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies First.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born. Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Aik dafa aik aeroplane main 3 mussafir safar kar rahe they .In main se aik russian tha aik american aur aik pakistani tha. ittifaq se teeno aik sath bethey howe they . russian ne kaha k space par sab se pehley ham gaye they.American ne kaha k sab se Pehley chand par ham gaye they.Pakistani ne kuch der tak socha aur phir hansa aur kaha k inshallah sab se pehley sooraj (sun) par ham jaye gay.................tigerpaki03459029997
FATHER: How are your grades, son?
SON: Under water, Dad.
FATHER: Under water? What do you mean?
SON: They're below C level. Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
STUDENT: But I don't think I deserve a zero on this exam.
TEACHER: Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)
Computor Teacher asks a kid wat r d two latest varjons of java?Kid Told 1)MARJAVA N 2)MITJAVA,Ishq me dil jaan b naam tere kar java java.NeErAj BagDiYa
Pj of d yr-Jiska dil tut gaya hai uske pass genrl knwldge kyu nahi hota hai???Socho??Kyoki Jab dil hi tut gaya to ''G.K'' kya kare NeErAj BagDiYa
A FAMILY SAW ''SHOLAY'' MOVIE
CAME BACK HOME AND HUSBAND ROMANTICALLY SAID TO WIFE
'' NACH BASANTI NACH''
CHILD ADDED
''NAHIN BASANTI IS KUTE K SAMNE MAT NACHNA'' sanam naz
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl dimesh
1 punjabi 1 Sindhi or 1 PATHAN Dozakh main thae.or teenon ke khawahish the k woh zameen par ayeen. Akhir kaar un ko zameen par jany ke ijazat mil gaye but 1 shart par k woh zameen par ja kar koi khawish nahe karain ge .. agar unhon ne koi khawahish ke to Wapas DOZAKH main baij diye jayen ge. teenon punjabi pathan oor sindhi ja rahy thae k Sindhi ko book lag gaye oor uss ne Khana khany ke shadeed khawhish ke. jaisy he uss ne khawhish ke Sath main he Sindhi gayeeb ho giya. ab punjabi oor pathan reh gaye thae. Ab punjabi ne Zameen Par se Khuch uthany k liye neechy huwa.(RAKOO WALY HALAT MAIN) to jab woh seeda huwa to Peechy Se pathan Gayeeb ho chuka tha .. =))
Moral.. Pathan Ke Khawahish Bury Balaa hai hamid ali 03026634069
Why can't u trust a woman ?
Ans : How can u trust something that bleeds for five days and does'nt die Kush
6
Happiest man is on whose,
daughter's photograph is on femina cover,
son on india today,
girlfriend on playboy,
WIFE on missing coloumn of newspaper.nomi-03455916346
Thought for the Days!!!
if you call your mother as MUM...
What will you call Mother's younger
sis and elder sis?
Answer : MINMUM & MAXIMUM sayalisalih +919895137022
Explain The word
"AUTOMATICALLY"
....Nahe pata
i'll xplain...
ager koi ganji ladki
auto mein bethi ho
to use kehte hain
auto_mein_takli:~$ Ricky+923332600701
Husband ne at 1st night opened the Ghunghat gave
Rs. 500 munh dikhayi. Wife ne kaha Tum mere Husband ho is liye leleti hoon
warna mai 2000 se kam nahi leti Baqar(0321-2373397)
Whose mother had the most painful delivery
Guess ?
Still Thinking.....
Ans: Sunny Deol
Why?
Becoz he himself said "Main nikla gadi lay kay"saria gill
Wife: Zara dheere karo na kyun TezGaam chala rahe ho ?
Maalgaadi chalao na.....................
Itne mein beta bed se neeche gira aur bola.........
Behanchod jo marji chalao par sawari ko to mat girao...Osman (0301-4876609 ~03454566641)..
Woman: Dr. sahab mujhe thode din bachha nahi chahiye.
Dr: Ye Condom le lo........
Woman: Ye pani ke sath lu ya doodh ke saath...
Dr: Kele ke saath!!!!!!!!!!!!!Osman (0301-4876609 ~03454566641)
Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai
Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain.
Just imagine life without GIRLS
the result ===
markets silent
streets empty
the police at rest
All mobile companies in loss
No SMS
No flowers
No candles
No perfumes
No travelling
ALL THE MEN DIRECT TO HEAVEN !!! Nasir Latif
I was cooking chicken.When added palak in it,the chicken stood up and started dancing and saying"Hum pe yeh kis ne hara rang dala,maar dala,Allah maar dala.
Nasir Latif
did u know what is mean by MAN
M=marvelous
A=and
N=nice
and the word WOMAN mean is
W=wanted
O=other
MAN=man ADNAN03214124457
Hey, is your dad a terrorist? Cos baby, you're the bomb! 4457944 ws
AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other
bilal
one day dog dancing madly on the merage of lion lion ask y r u dancing madly dog said i am also lion before merrage....
awais khan
Husband:"Darling years ago u had a figure like a Coke bottle."
Wife:"Yes darling I still do but the only difference is earlier it was300ml and now it's 1.5 liter. shaukii
BAAP BYTE SE ,
PEHLE TUM MUJH KO PAPA KAHTE THE AB DADY KUYN KAHTE HOO ,
KIYA WAJAH HIA ?
BYTE : PAPA KAHNE SE LIPSTICK JO KHARAB HOO JATE HAI sagar pinjani
Teacher:-What is common between
KRISHNA,NABI,GANDHI& JESUS...?
SARDAR replied...."ALL ARE
bOrN ON GOVERMENT HOLIDAYS...! sayalisalih +919895137022
7
hum bhi by sahara tum bhi by sahara!! hum bhi by sahara tum bhi by sahara ??????? fitty mo0 tumhara fitty m0o hamara ;)
copyright www.lovelysms.com sherry
Teri zulfeyn Raat ka andhera, Teri zulfeyn Raat ka andhera
Kaat du useey toh ho jaye sawera...copyright www.lovelysms.com Nonsense
kashti toofan sy nikal sakti hai, taqdeer kisi bhi waqt badal sakti hai, hosla rakh channel na badal SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt jhuk skti hai
john (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
**Twinkle Twinkle little star**
Teri girl friend gaee bazar
usko milgaya dosra yaar..(copyright www.lovelysms.com)
ab tou beth kar makhiyaan maar..!!fakeha
Alcaholic mandhra
"Gurur'RUM'a
Gurur'VODKA'
'GINN'eswara
Guru'SCOTCH'al
Para'BRANDY"
Thasmesree
'BEAR'eNamaha (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
"Chears" sayalisalih +919895137022
Girlfriend:Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend:Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. (copyright www.lovelysms.com)Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
(copyright www.lovelysms.com)Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
sardar g aaj raat billi phir sara doodh pee gai "sardar" bewi kitni bar kaha hay k kapray utar kar na soea karo kami (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so farr !! (copyright www.lovelysms.com)Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
SOME LADY WENT TO BAR, AND SIT ON BARTABLE IN FRONT OF BARMAN. OTHE GUY SIT ON THE LET HAND SIDE AND OTHE MAN SIT ON RIGHT ON SIDE. THE ONE WHO SIT ON THE LEF, SAY" JOHNNY WARKER SINGLE AND THE ATHER ON THE RIGHT SAY" JACK DANNIEL SINGLE. SO, THE THE BARMAN, LOOK THE LADY, SAID" AND 'U'" LADY SAID. MARIA MOKWENA AND MARRIED.
ELVI'SANO (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A HOLIDAY.(copyright www.lovelysms.com)Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641 (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Girl: Aisa khat likho sajna,
meri umar beet jaye parrhtey parrhtey
Boy
(i=0i>xE'l1i+;e_y#a#>#"e!%;
=*?#@?w@'e*,e(p+>i*
boy says to girl main tum ko without tuch kiya kiss karoo ga ....girl says ye to ho hi nahi sakta....boy says to lag hai 20 20 rupay ki .... girl says ok....boy kissed girl titely....girl says tum ne to mujay tuch kiya hai .....boy say ye loo 20 rupay noman
www.lovelysms.com
ek chote se bachche ko roj rat main susu lagti thi to uski mamai ne kaha beta jab tere ko susu lage to bol diya kar ki mughe gana gana hai to mai samagh jaugi , ek bat uska papa wah papa ke sath soya to rat me bolta hai papa gana gana hai papa bola beta rat main nahi gate hain per jab ladka na mana to bap bola acha dheere se kaan main ga de....
copyright www.lovelysms.com sanjoo
Newtons First Law of ishq
the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals (copyright www.lovelysms.com)03456592721 Hassan
Newtons 2nd law of ishq
the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the
bank balance. (copyright www.lovelysms.com) Hassan 03456592721
Newtons First Law of Ishq
a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. (copyright www.lovelysms.com) Hassan 03456592721
Bus Me 1 Khusra,Or us ki back side par,
Ek baba ji thay....
Pechy se kisi sharir larky na..
Khusry ko ungli charha di,
Or khud pechy hat gia ....
Khusry nay pichy mur kar baby se kaha,
Baba ji main sadky Ay miss call tusi diti ay?
Baby nay apni DOTI utha kar kaar kaha,(copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Nahi Ballo! Mera tey Balance ei khatam Ay !Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
Teacher: what do u wish to do in future ?
Ali : I want 2 b pilot.
Hasan : Iwant 2 b docter
sana I want 2 b mother .(copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Abid : !want 2 help sana shazaib
frog:tumhare pas dimag nahi hai
srdar:hai
frog:nahi hai
sardar:hai
frog:nahi hai,and jumps into a well (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
sardar-ismey sucide karne wali konsi baat thi muskan
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? ,(copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Customer: What other colors do you have?Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.,(copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me! Osman +92 (0) 345-4566641
Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys;
Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the
Rich Boy.. 03226808160
Big Boss (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th
day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
UBAID remeber me 03212762704 03343237727 scorpio
tum ne mere tan se khela
tum ne mere mann se khela (copyright www.lovelysms.com)
well played oye well played hardyboy03214581372
1 sardar ulta nanga leta hota hai 1 naughty boy ata hai aur uski ASS per tabla baja ker chala jata hai is per
sardar ulta hota hai aur kehta hai "ae ley hun bansri vi vaja le" (copyright www.lovelysms.com) Malik
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever ,(Copyright www.lovelysms.com) SFIDO
8
Gogos boyfriend
Grand chlid:Gogo why are you always seating in this chair?
Gogo:I'm watching T.V.
Grand Child :Do you have a boy friend?
Gogo was bored by these questions from her grand child and decided to answer nobakanjani.
Gogo:Yes the TV is my boyfriend !
Grand child :Yo've got such a wonderful bf.
KNOCK! KNOCK! ON THE DOOR
Pastor :Where is your Grandmother ?
Grand child:She is in her room ,banging her BOYFRIEND
0832410410
9
ek jungle mein chuhay se sab dartey the,
agar sher us k samnay aa jata to dar kar bhaag jaata,
haathi bhi kahin chup jata, Copyright www.lovelysms.com
aas paas k log yeh dekh kar preshaan huay or kaha aakhir kia maajra hai,
pata chala chuha MQM mein tha
---
Full Name: Sonu
E-mail Address: 00923204186155
teacher sabse garam chez kia he
stud: jalta howa bulb
tech: shabash woh kese
stud: meri mammi aik martaba mere papa se kehrahi thi k pehle bulb band karo phir mon men longi
---
Full Name: faisal sameer
Mobile: 03212950598
aij jamadarnee ko aik condume mil gayia too malikan kee pass lee kar gayee our poocha yee kia hay? malikan kia ap loog sex nahee karteee ? jamadarnee kartee hay leeken etna bb nahee kee khool uttar jayeee
---
Full Name: mohammad arafat afridi bara wala
Mobile: 03049065315
Sales Girl: sorry sir you cann't smoke here.
Customer: but i bought cigarate from this shop. Copyright www.lovelysms.com
Sales Girl: we sell condom also but it dosn't mean you start fucking here.
---
Full Name: goher
Mobile: 03452425045
What did shivaji say to bruce lee when he met him? tu karate me marathe.
---
Full Name: Deepu 09847774000
Mobile: 9847774000
Bachey k khatney k waqt nai ko mashwarey diye janey lagey.
Chachi Boli: Is k chacha jaisa Nokdar banana.
Mami Boli: Is k mama jaisi Gol Topi ho.
Nai Dhoti Utha Kar Bola: Aap ki marzi hai ji warna Fashion to yeh chal raha hai.
---
Full Name: Kalim
Mobile: 03004981465
U r walkin in road. Grls r lookin at u & u r smiling smartly 2 them. U don't care any1. but OPPS u just 4got 2 close ur PANTS CHAIN again & have no underware!
---
Full Name: shourav8801717491202
Mobile: 8801717491202
Boys;Larkian pepsi ki tarah hoti hain,
Jitna pio utna ziada maza aata hay,
Girls;larkay juice ki tarah hotay hain, Copyright www.lovelysms.com
Jab maza anay lagta hay to khataam ho jtay hain.
---
Full Name: noor /swat
Mobile: 03013040220
Boy say 2girl "agar may tumhary brest daba kar bag jao to tum kya socho gee||?"
girl
"to may socho gee ke aik pagal go poore car chala sakta tha sirf horan daba kar bag geya |" hahahahah
---
Full Name: fami
Mobile: 03459221214,03459198782
Kafi americans chand per poanch gay han. Listen. apnay mehbooba ko
chand mat kehna werna 3,4 log aus per be char jain gay. :-)
---
Full Name: ALI AFZAL
Mobile: 03217112177
AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her, Copyright www.lovelysms.com
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other
---
Full Name: malik
Mobile: 00923005473001
10
Child:Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom:Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child:Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain. Copyright www.lovelysms.com
Full Name: noor /swat
Mobile: 03013040220
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye
---
Full Name: vishal
Mobile: 09897308908
Tcher: 3 grls are walking in da road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory.
studnt: WOW!
---
Full Name: shourav8801717491202
Mobile: 8801717491202
1 man asked to other
a man died to drinking a milk, Tell me y this happen ?
other man replied,
it would poissionus milk .
the man said no ,
then again he replied,
the milk was'nt diggeust. Copyright www.lovelysms.com
man again said no..............
ok
lett i tell u "abay yaar bhains us per baith gai thi"
---
Full Name: naz
Mobile: 0300 3665336
Man:Dr Mujhe normal potti nahi aati,Chawal khaya to chawal nikle,Roti khayi to roti,normal k liye kya karu,Dr:PoTTI KHA!!!!
---
Full Name: Anusheel Jauhari
Mobile: 9826654035
EK UNPARE(ILLETERATE)CONDUCTER SE:"GAREE MAI JAGA HAI".COND:"HA EK ADMEE KEE".SAWAREE:"LEKEN MERE PASS DO LADIES B HAI".COND:"TUM BETOO MAI LADIES KO OPPER BAND LOANGA" Copyright www.lovelysms.com
INAYAT
one day three men walk 2 de bar they serve them they start with the first one what ul like sir he said jack daniel singl,the other one said jonny walker single soccer player said siyabonga nomvete married
---
Full Name: bluewz
Mobile: 0762521023
Dear customer ur underwear validity for 1 year is over. Pls change ur underweartodayand enjoy mega 1 year validity
---
Full Name: rakesh
Mobile: 9447007519
Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?"
Student:"Brotherly love
---
Full Name: ALI 0300-4794610
Mobile: 0300-4794610
MOm:tujhi ladka passand Aaya ho to baat agay Chalayen...
Girl:ladka to thek hai par thoda motta hia .. Copyright www.lovelysms.com
Mom:TV Chahe 14" ka ho ya phir 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai..
hahaha
---
Full Name: faran
Mobile: 0334-9081551
11
PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot
Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...
Full Name: Irfan Sunpal Copyright www.lovelysms.com
Mobile: 0322-6100395 / 0300-7300331
A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning!
---
Full Name: Irfan Sunpal
Mobile: 0322-6100395 / 0300-7300331
girls.doctor mai apne jub hi kaprey otarti ho tu mujeh boht uljhan hoti hai kiya aap kw pass is ka elaaj hai
doctor.yes mai light off karat ho tum kaprey uttaro.
girl.yes doctor mai ne kaprey uttar diye hai per esse kaha rakho.
doctor. yaha tabel per jaha mere rakhey hoi hai.
---
Full Name: ehssan
Mobile: 03452702290
World's
Smallest
resignation
letter?
Respected sir,
I luv ur wife.
---
Full Name: mahen
Mobile: 919350085747
There are three wonders of a woman
01. Give milk without eating grass
02. Get wet without water Copyright www.lovelysms.com
03. Bleed for a week without going to die
-----Ferarry Pothik
---
Full Name: Srabon
Mobile: 8801714033188
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet!
Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.
---
Full Name: Irfan Sunpal
Mobile: 0322-6100395 / 0300-7300331
Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!
Full Name: Irfan Sunpal
Mobile: 0322-6100395 / 0300-7300331
Three Ways of fast Communication
1: Television
2: Telephone
3: Tell-a-women
Full Name: Irfan Sunpal
Mobile: 0322-6100395 / 0300-7300331
. Devdas says to paro:aik sham mera naam ker do.paro : ja ja main kahan or tu kahan.Devdas:itna garoor tu CHAND ko bhi nahin hai.Paro:kase hota CHAND per dagh jo hain.Devdas called his son(CHAND):Tu aaj phir nahi nahea... IMMI.
---
Full Name: najam
Mobile: 03332803180
Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar.
Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto
ke samne chaddi mat utarna.
Basanti: Viru dar mat maine
chaddi pahni hi nahi hai... Copyright www.lovelysms.com
---
Full Name: Kashif Zaman
Mobile: 0321-4037927
a sexy woman like a 1000 rupee note, u don't know how many have handled it but u still want 2 have it.
---
Full Name: aadi
Mobile: +919931687016
Wife mean
w-who
i-is
f- for
e- enjoyment
and husband mean
h-how
u- u
s- serve
b- batter
a- and
n- nice
d- darling
---
Full Name: saqi
Mobile: 03005136550
Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? hosband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:! Copyright www.lovelysms.com
sohel
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Full Name: Sohel
Mobile: 01711506706
12
Rizwan: Doctor say help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai? Copyright www.lovelysms.com
Rizwan: Phone karte waqt
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Full Name: SaaMer
Mobile: 03002711588
Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady ne
Hello kiya,
Wife- koun thi wo?
Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.
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Full Name: SaaMer
Mobile: 03002711588
Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...
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Full Name: SaaMer
Mobile: 03002711588
du khoosrey kahin jaa rahey they unn mien se ek neechey gir gya tu dusri ne usey uthatey huey kaha UTHO BEHAN MARD BANO..
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Full Name: DR. farah
Mobile: 03217425378
A 60 years old bachelor advertises his Zaoorat-e-rishta
after a month he got a letter Copyright www.lovelysms.com
"mian sahib" iss umar mein RISHTA nahi FARISHTAY aata hein.
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Full Name: SMS KING
Mobile: 0300-4794610
Ramlal, Bagwan say.
Bahgwan mujhy dukh de,dard de,tension de, mujay pagal banady mery pachey kutty laga de.Bahgwan bat kat ker aby sale ek line mein kiyon nahee bolta tuj ko biwi chaie.
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Full Name: Paracha
Mobile: 0321-8761532
Secretary to Boss : sir aap mujhay 500 rupey day sakte hein main aapko kal dey doongi?
Boss : yeh lo 1000 Rupay, abhi dey do ;)
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Full Name: emi
Mobile: +923002697032
Subjiwala: madam ye 500 ka
note blouse se nikala hai kya?
Madam: hann par kaise laga?
Subjiwala: gandhiji ka muh
abhi bhi khula hua hai! Copyright www.lovelysms.com
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Full Name: muna bhhi sms
Mobile: +923218001706
Husband touched boobs and
sung: Piyo glass full doodh,
wonderful doodh.
Immediately wife touched
his penis n said: Thanda
matlab CHOTA COKE!
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Full Name: muna bhhi sms
Mobile: +923218001706
a man wanted sex from his wife, and a wife refused and said that she was tired and gave her husband 50bucks and said go buy from prostitutes.he came back and wife asked where did u buy from?the husband said i bought from maNKOSI,the wife said yeses!!maNKOSI is greedy why I give her husband 4 free!!
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Full Name: thokzozo
Mobile: 0739566615
HUM NY 1 TEETAR PAKRA UR PINGRAY MAIN BAND KIA TO WOH PICHY SE NIKAL GAYA.
PHIR PAKRA TO WOH PICHY SE NIKAL Copyright www.lovelysms.com
GUSSA AYA PAKRA KATA auR KAHAYA TO WOH PHIR PICHY SE NIKAL GAYA
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Full Name: MUNIB
Mobile: 03042162762
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